It all starts with lack of Passion...
I had just arrived to Korea in 2019 during my time with the U.S. Army and was still finding my place in the world emotionally, philosophically, and professionally. I had a career that I could follow with the military but it was lacking something I truly enjoyed. Spending time in front of rows of lit monitors and barbed wire fences just doing my job wasn't cutting it and my mental health was suffering as a result...
A glimpse of the cityscape of Seoul during sunset. Shot in the fall of 2019.
Fun without purpose...
I had searched for years trying to find something that would finally click the switch in my brain that would fix everything. There were many temptations along the way in the form of alcohol, tobacco, women, partying and many other less that stellar hobbies that I had been a part of. None if it felt real and often times I felt like I was falling into a loop that was never ending and only resulted in further isolation. Every weekend was the same bout of partying, drinking and hoping that I might find the comfort of a woman for the night at a local hotel. It was all meaningless fun and it served no purpose in my life.
City streets of the club district in Hongdae, Seoul. Taken in 2019.
The Downfall
I was going down a dark path and everything was coming down around me. I was gaining weight, failing multiple relationships, coming in late to work, and isolating myself from friends and family while spiraling into depression. All I could think of in my garbled mind was how hopeless I was. "Was I meant for more than this", I wondered. Maybe if I found something that would bring me from the brink so that I may breathe again. I needed something I could truly dive into that was engaging and would end my torment. Something that would help me connect with nature, people, or even God...
Late night in Seoul at Cafe de Fessonia. Taken in 2021.
A glimmer of Hope
Around the end of 2020, after the pandemic had come to a simmer, I found what I was looking for. A friend of mine named Diego (on the right) whom I was bunked with at the time showed me his new Sony camera that he bought at the Yongsan station camera market. He was full of energy and excited to show me some of the pictures he had taken with it around Korea and of people he knew. I didn't quite understand the excitement but supported his happiness anyways. He asked if I wanted to go with him back to the market in Yongsan to get some food and also get a new lens for his camera to try out. I agreed since it was the weekend and I had nothing better to do, but little did I know this would be the start of something that would turn my life around...
A good friend of mine Diego. Taken at his band's first concert in 2021.
A Leap of Faith
Diego sorted through a couple of the cameras and lenses at the market while simultaneously getting us bombarded by salesmen trying to sell the latest gear. He ended up sitting down with the salesman to discuss the price of a lens he was getting. While he was negotiating a small camera caught my eye that was on sale. It was little white Canon Eos M50 that had a couple of scratches on the body and had seen some use. It had a small kit lens on it that was no longer than my pinky. I picked it up and tried take a photo but everything was black. The salesman took once annoyed glance at me and took the camera out of my hands and whispered something under his breath in Korean. He took the kit lens off and put a massive lens on the camera while taking the lens cap off. He motioned towards a mirror to try it out. I took my first photo in that mirror and was immediately hooked on the control of the camera. I had taken plenty of photos on a phone before, but to actually control the aspects of the shot felt so strange in a good way. I asked Diego jokingly, "You think I could pick up a girl with this camera?" He responded, "Have you ever seen spiderman? If he could do it then so could we man!" I was just joking of course, but at that moment I was holding the camera and it felt good to hold it. "Maybe this is a sign?" I thought in my head. I asked how much and the salesmen said, "1,500,000 KRW for the camera and lens." This was around 1000 USD which was an insane amount on my budget. However, I didn't hesitate and bought my first camera ever at that moment...
My first picture with a Canon Eos M50. Taken at Yongsan Camera Market 2020.
The Rest is History
That night I was so excited to try out the camera that we took a trip in the night together to take some photos in Hongdae which was the party district of the area. Walking around with a camera just trying to take a cool shot to show one another was one of the best feelings ever. We both probably took around a thousand photos that night of random trinkets, people, streets, and cars. It made me feel alive to just be out interacting with people and taking photos. Random couples or strangers would come up and ask for a photo and spark a conversation. Seeing the happiness I would bring to others with the camera reflected on my personality and made me feel better as a result. From that point onwards I knew that this would be my passion and I've been sticking with it since...
A night in Hongdae, Seoul of cold streets and neon lights. Taken in 2021.